Sheldon: Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as one.
From episode The Lunar Excitation
Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Where ever the music takes me kitten.
From episode The Werewolf Transformation
Howard: You gotta like this: the girlfriend…..the ex-girlfriend, bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty?
Leonard: Kill me!
Sheldon: It wouldn’t help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.
From episode The Roommate Transmogrification
Raj: I don’t know if I want to play anymore.
Sheldon: Because you don’t have a girlfriend? Well, good lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game’s in serious trouble.
From episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst
Sheldon: Until you either do not go or go to Wil Wheaton’s party you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. I’m characterizing this phenomenon as Schrodinger’s Friendship.
From episode The Russian Rocket Reaction
Sheldon: “See you in hell Sheldon.”
The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.
From episode The Good Guy Fluctuation
Sheldon: New topic: women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?
From episode The Isolation Permutation
Leonard: You think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don’t need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you.
From episode The Speckerman Recurrence
Amy: Oh, are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.
From episode The Vacation Solution
Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
From episode Pilot